You are probably wondering “Ahann Deedee what is this countdown for now?” Hmmm where do I even start?
If you remember, in my last post, I shared my graduation preparation story and experience with you guys. So after graduation, the next thing every single person has asked is “what’s next?”. Someone can not just enjoy life without stressing about the next thing, bruh! Anyways the countdown is exactly how many months, weeks and days since I jumped into the phase of…
Yes funemployment might just be the word to use but it’s more like your girl is jobless!
As you read this you might either be cracking up right now or feeling sorry for me but as I type this, trust me, I’m laughing. I know the countdown makes it seem like, “Ohh DeeDee have you really been marking your calendar?” Well not quite, I just needed an interesting title for this post so I decided to count loool. Please do not be alarmed, I’m not worried, sad or hopeless my dear! I occasionally have weird things (tears) running down my face but I just thought that this would be a really cool way to present this new phase of my life. Job search!
To be honest the whole process hasn’t been easy but I’m really learning a lot from people, my mistakes and everything in general. The transition from having midterms and writing school papers to constantly tweaking resumes and cover letters happened so fast. Like way too fast and I didn’t feel I was really prepared with the necessary information when I initially started the process. I’m sure some of you can probably relate to this, however, the more you apply, the better you get!
Till date, I have been blessed with the opportunity to interview for a lot of good companies, but guess what has come of it ?
Is that still a good thing? Yes! I won’t say I’m necessarily overjoyed. It’s been a rocky process but on the plus side I’m consistently practicing and getting better for the next one.
Also I have the motto that in this life you can’t come and kill yourself. So why worry, when my Daddy has already said ” You cannot add anytime to your life by worrying about it – Matthew 6:27“.
So “Don’t worry – I am with you. Don’t be afraid – I am your God. I will make you strong and help you. I will support you with my right hand that brings victory- Isaiah 41:10”
YESSSSS victoryyyy, success,
and everything nice!
I remember the time a recruiter scheduled my first phone call with me, I was very excited. Hmm extremely ready to kill it! A little overstressed but not about anything major. Until the moment my aunt shocked me with the question, “Deedee, you know this is an interview right?”. Ghen ghen! Of course not.
Bruhh from that point on this was me 👉🏽
I knowww what were you expecting sisss?? I actually don’t know. Maybe just maybe they wanted to hear my voice you know.
All the while, I had been stressing about silly things like, how was I going to sound? Will the network service go off? and many other what-ifs. Yeah, silly right? Please try not to judge me, I didn’t know 😂. Friends, the main lesson here is to always be prepared because intro calls are actually a huge deciding factor for hiring managers towards the next step.
You might just be amazed about the things I thought of and the numerous preconceived notions that I had about this job search of a thing. So let me surprise you again. I always thought that the intro call was the end, like the sign that the interview process had finished. Then …
BOOM my job offer letter in my email.
Boy oh boy was I in for a huge shock. Okay maybe not 12 seconds but you get what I mean 🙃. Lmao from my experience, I learnt that it doesn’t work like that oh! Most companies have 3-4 stages which includes in-person interviews and even case studies. In this job search thing, you will have to learn by force by force.
Back to that first intro call, I got to the last stage of the process but didn’t get the job (which is technically a good thing but at the time I didn’t think so). Everyone keeps saying that it will get easier as time goes on, however, earlier on in the process, that didn’t apply to me. I found it incredibly hard to stay positive but still pushed through. I eventually developed a coping mechanism of being mean to myself and making cruel jokes about my situation. I pushed people away and started singl-ing myself out like I was the first person to look for a job. Over time, the jokes stopped being a coping mechanism and slowly became more of my downfall. At times when I made it through to the in person interview which is a big deal, I struggled and still struggle with a lot of things like my identity.
I am presently in Toronto, Canada so most times when I’m heading to my interview I have to pass through Union station. With the number of times I have been to this station, my feeling or experience just doesn’t get any better. I always feel a little claustrophobic and get disgusted real quick. Coming or going, my journey is always the same feeling.
Awkward, because I feel like I’m dressed professionally like all the other people but do not feel like I belong in their “group”.
On most days, I will be walking beside people and just start imagining their bank accounts… “hmm that lady is probably a millionaire”, “this guy looks like he runs a lot of companies”, “Ohh he looks like a walking bank” etc well hopefully, they are not gauging me too, because LOOL. Other times, I just feel like I should just stop people and hand out my resume 😂. But seriously, most times I feel like I should just be at home.
Anyways, as usual, I leave the interview feeling like the employer and I are on the same page. Bear in mind when I’m more settled I even start planning my first day of work outfit 😉 Before the interview and sending in my application, I sometimes diligently take time out, sit down, calculate the dollars and also as far as creating a long list of things I’m going to spend the money on. This one you can’t even judge because I know for sure almost everyone does this!
After getting home from an interview, I know that the process isn’t over. For sure, for sure, I still have to face “post – interview review” with my family. I can always trust them to ask about every single thing (the FOMO feeling).
Then I get the email for the hiring manager:
Yes that email!
We appreciate your interest at company xyzzz. Unfortunately…
In the beginning, to be honest, it was easier to brush off like okayyyy.
Thank you, NEXT!
Then I transitioned into it being more like but WHYYYYYY followed with tears.
This cycle of applying and getting rejected or getting intro calls, interviews then getting rejected continued. I spent a lot of time, effort and energy applying for jobs and most times they were just met with rejection or no response. It was and is still really hard.
I started associating it with my value and who I am. It was incredibly hard to stay positive, at times I found myself randomly crying. I believe I was just slowly slipping into depression, I just became secluded from everyone and always made a conscious decision to ignore and avoid people. It’s like the devil was really trying to keep me by myself to deal with me but I was saved and I’m still being saved. The positive affirmations from my loved ones made no difference. I remember a particular affirmation I received after every negative news from my aunt was “Don’t mind them DeeDee, they don’t know how lucky they would have been to have you”. I actually used to brush it off, it then it slowly started to sink in and I started to believe that more each day.
I have decided to always see the good in everything, consciously making the decision to be grateful and find joy in whatever situation it maybe. I have actually fallen away from this, Did I just recently have a breakdown? Yes, YES I did. However I restart the whole process again, the effort and intention is what really matters. I realised that basically, I’m running my own marathon! You notice how I didn’t say sprint or race but marathon which is very important.
Now going through all this, I will be sharing what I have learned so far in a separate blog post so you don’t start this journey like I did. The job search process can be tricky, and I know that it is very easy for someone to get lost in everything and even lose themselves. But always remember to stay true to yourself!
Anyways after all this long story I’m still job searching, the rejections and everything is still there but this time I’m really trying not to be so hard on myself. Shout out (another one 😂) to my family and friends for the constant support and motivation. To all students, recent graduates, job hunters and those working.
Finally, if you have a job for me or just want to talk to me, I can accept both or either one. Feel free to leave a comment on this post, follow me on social media or fill out my contact form. I would love to hear from you!
That will be all for now. Till next time xoxo sweet girl 😉
Watch out for my next post!